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We have a serious problem. What was once the coolest and funnest thing about basketball, the dunk contest, is unbearable. Consider yourself lucky if you missed this last one. The insurance commercials they play every two minutes were more entertaining. We must brainstorm a solution, and in brainstorming no idea is a bad idea.
Take away the dunk contest for at least a year, maybe four. Remember what happened last time they took it away? We starved in ‘98 and ‘99, and then feasted like kings in 2000. It was pretty much this:
Vince Carter’s performance is undeniably the greatest of all-time. Yet we often forget the other dunkers - Steve Francis, Tracy McGrady and Ricky Davis. Each of their performances would win any given dunk contest since then. It felt like my first time in NYC and each time I tried a new pizza spot it was the greatest pizza spot ever, and I immediately forgot about the pizza spot three blocks back. Now we are eating leftover Papa Murphy’s.
But I digress, back to the solution. So we take away the men’s dunk contest, and let the ladies give it a go. Lower the goal to 8 or 8 ½ feet, give them a trampoline, let them jump out of a human cannon for all I care.
If you saw a commercial for a WNBA dunk contest I guarantee you’re tuning in live. Hey Siri, set a reminder for All-star weekend 2023. I’m not missing history.
Half of my interest is to see some bloopers. The other half is to compare myself to the “pros.” You know you’re thinking the same thing. While we are at it, let’s get Jake from State Farm in the mix. Oh, and the judges will be the hosts from The View.