Picks for Eagles vs. Texans Thursday Night Football

This game stinks. It's gross, it's ugly, and it's going to be boring. But don't lie to yourself. We all know we will still sit our fat butts down on the couch with a drink and watch this game. So stop kidding yourself and mentally prepare yourself to make a pick in this game with me.

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The 1-5-1 Houston Texans are home to the 7-0 Philadelphia Eagles. The sportsbooks have the Eagles -14 favorites in tonight's matchup. Everything in your spirit, mind, and body (shoutout YMCA b-ball prayer) tells you to take the Eagles. The Eagles will win this football game, but winning by 14 points in professional football is not easy. Every stat I would bring up says to take the Eagles -14 except one, and this one matters. Even though this is not necessarily a stat, over 85% of bets are on the Eagles -14. I'm fading myself and the public, so I am taking the Texans +14.

But the Texans is just a 1 unit play. My favorite play coming into tonight is Jalen Hurts to score a touchdown anytime in the game. This Texans' run defense is atrocious. They allowed over 200 rush yards to Derrick Henry when they knew Malik Willis was never going to throw the ball. Typically I would go for a running back here against the Texans, but I trust Jalen Hurts in goal-line situations more than these Eagles running backs. Plus, you never know which Eagles running back will get the goal-line carries; if I were to play one of those, it would be Kenneth Gainwell +400.

Jalen Hurts of the Philadelphia Eagles reacts after a touchdown in the fourth quarter of a game against the Pittsburgh Steelers at Lincoln Financial...
(Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images)

I can already see it. With six minutes left in the first quarter, and the Eagles have the ball on the Texans' 3-yard line. A cute little read option, Jalen Hurts keeps it and walks into the end zone to cash it for us. I gave you the script. You're welcome.

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I will be keeping track of my picks on blogs in each sport in the month of November. I will make sure to include the record in every blog this month.

Texans +14 -110 (1u)
Jalen Hurts ATTD -120 (3u)
Kenneth Gainwell ATTD +400 (lean, not an official play)